All good things must come to an end`

I came into class not expecting anything (except for nice classmates and lecturer) and went away with quite a few things ... ... ...

1. excellent and nice classmates, although I really have not got to know all the classmates but for this so many weeks, all have been nice and fun =). Also reading their blog entries was really a way to see how different people think as compared to me, some of the blog entries are so interesting with real-life examples and you tube videos; mine is so boRRRing~ with only chunk of words =/

2. Dr Deng has been real nice and patience in class too, with all of us bombarding him with questions and his teaching style =]

3. Culture, culture and more culture: going through different topics every week was really insightful on the different cultural components and systems in the world (if i may use this word). Some of my favourite topics are gender communication, CMC communication, speech events and etc and the hardest for me was perhaps the part on written discourse [I know, so contradicting right when my research is something like a written discourse, but I really sort of enjoyed the research because its different from the written discourse, more of disciplinary communication/culture than written discourse]. But because I like to read, I think that the topic on written discourse had really opened my eyes - next time I will take note on the authors when I read their books, see if they have the qi-cheng-zhuang-he or other totally some other style?
I think the class had most fun during CMC and gender communication because we get to debate from different perspectives (male and females) and the topics that different gender discussed =D.Its also hard to pick one one favourite topic because all the topics are really interesting!!

We watched a few videos in the beginning, but I thought the long video on the different cultures was really . um - intriguing because it really debunked some of my thoughts - like Japanese nods because they agree (but apparently its just a listener response) and my idea that sign language was universal (but not so~)  and also our so common experiences of treating people and refusing to accept others money when the other party request to go dutch. Or paying someone who had given you gifts/treats or vegetables (in my grandma case) haha ...

4. Small groups discussions during tutorial - got to mix and interact with many other classmates, was in the same group as Anna for a few times and got to ask her many questions on Swedish culture.

5. Doing the research (something of a content analysis I feel) and learning how to do a content analysis research. Instead of going through interviews and surveys like in sociology modules, analyzing articles was definitely something new I tried :). But it was really quite a hm, how to say, a good and tough experience & also working with grace =).  I got to admit my English is not the most "powerful" and had some trouble understanding some literature review and picking out specific words and phrases to identify the realization of the move - but I got there eventually (I hope I did~).I had fun reading the abstracts (haha~ I must be mad?) and now I can expect some framework for other sociology abstracts? =)

But everyone in class had a different topic - gossips, failed humor, conversations, sports reporting, pharmacist-customers interaction, compliments and praises, german requests, apologies, gift transferring and reciprocity, festive entrance and exit, interviews on CNA, business letters ... i apologize if i miss anything out, but there's a lot of topic, but every topic is interesting because I  definitely learnt more about different culture (like Sweden, German, Taiwan ...) and also other topics not covered in class by Dr Deng and some presentations really left an deep impression  =]=]=]

But from the first day which I did not know what to expect, I got quite a bit didn't I? So, thank you everyone, it did make my semester (and possibly my last here) interesting. and I'm glad i took this module Actually, tell the truth I was hoping for a relaxed semester but this semester had been anything other than relax but hey, I learnt a hell lots of things ... although in sociology we do talk a lot on culture but talking about culture in GEK1036 is totally something different. So thank you everyone (fellow classmates & Dr Deng); if my CAP allows it ... see you in NUS, if not ... we will probably bump into one another on the streets?  8]

As they say (pardon my bad translation) - there is no banquet that will never end, I guess our 13-week "banquet" had ended. So, good luck for the upcoming exams~ and may everything be a success! =D.

Adios~ \.(^.^)./ (",)

shredder - a kitchen utensil?

lol, don't know if i'm supposed to review today's seminar ... but thought I'll do a short one anyway (I promise it will really be a short one).

I thought today's presentations were really interesting and insightful!! especially serene, yi ling and yi wen's topic on failed humor and the short ninja turtle clip. And so were the apology topics done by andy and anna, who knew that Singaporeans apologize more as compared to Swedish? It was really something surprising to learn of that - i guess it now comes back to our culture and how it is inculcated in us to apologize for such actions? Just my guess ... but I think Anna will have the best explanation, maybe we can ask her after she is done with her report? =) Gladwin presentation was really good too!! German requests~ indirect - I guess its the culture again? Of not offending people and collective action?

There was also the Malay culture done by Azhar and Nurhannah for compliment responses, sometimes I also get similar responses from the complimentee too! Like the upgrading part, I might say, "you look very nice today" and the other party will probably go "Wah, only today ah?" hahaha. But I have not encountering the part where the other party thinks that there is some ulterior motive behind the compliment. And the entry and exit during the Hari Raya visiting presentation from Nadia and Syafiah was really interesting, perhaps we can look at Chinese New Year and Deepavali visitation too? =]

Ok I'll end here ... see you next week!! =D

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to you regarding the vacancy of ... ... ...

alright, its week 11 and coming week 12, my last few lessons in NUS possibly but not time for "sadness" now ...its disciplinary culture for week 11 =).

Alright, i won't be going into Swales's CARS model because if i'm doing it for the term paper so yeah ... i will just talk a little bit about it. Basically Swales model can be used to analyse the different parts of a research/journal article, be it abstracts, results and discussions and introductions. But Swales has recently updated his CARS model as he mentioned that the Submoves or what is called the Steps are not accurately defined and thus I, or rather we (my teammate and I) will be doing the analysis of sociological research journals abstracts using only the Moves =). Ok maybe it does not sound that interesting but I hope we can do it well =S (*nervous*). But its interesting to note that Swales did admit the flaws of the submoves and sort of "updated" the model, maybe a times I have researchers sometimes admit that there might be flaws in the methodologies they adopted and suggests how better to refine the model or methodologies. Now that's really dedicated to one's research =).

okay, coming to writing (application) letters ... i have to admit that I absolutely dislike writing such letters because sometimes if I state my qualities and what if the expectations of the person reading the letter and my own skills do not really match. For example, I might exaggerate saying that I have critical thinking skills but in reality I can only "think critically" so that much then won't it be a very big difference between reality and what is written on paper? I have heard cases where people exaggerate their skills so as to get certain jobs =(. Ok in conclusion, i just hate praising myself, I mean if i do it in a joking manner its fine but in a professional manner, i think it is really weird because isn't that what referees are for?!

I feel that the people who one have worked with are the best people to speak out for your character, skills and abilities and not yourself.OK granted that there might be some people who might be afraid of offending and thus give good reviews but I think that generally, those who feel that you have the ability will not turn down praising you. That's some of my thoughts and personal feelings or maybe its due to my culture which has taught me not to be too conceited and to be humble and that is a reason for which I am uncomfortable in "promoting" myself? or maybe its just purely a case of low self-esteem? =O

***gasps-coughs-coughs**  English letters do not invoke compassion and glorifying the institution in Ali's study, but all were promoting candidature (how they can contribute to the company,) a case of individualism? But on the other hand, Arabic's letters did not invoke willingness to go for an interview. why? But wonder how our application letter would be like? I think we will have the move of evoking compassion by saying "Thank you for your kindness in considering my application" But which kind of writing style (english/arabic) would you choose? or will it be a mixed one? =)

Well, coming to the promotion letters, I think that the components are similar but where the introduction of the product or services is placed at differs, but other than that everything seems similar. But to me, I guess what comes first (introduction of products or establishing of credentials) does not matter because the main purpose is to introduce one company's products to the letter-reader and hope that the letter will be sufficient to entice the reader into getting the products =P (of course, the openings and the ending must be at the right places); just some of my speculations above ... hmm, why do I have a feeling that I am getting less and less coherent?

Alright, I guess I am done, have a good weekend and see you in class next weednesday =), totally can't wait to see our classmates' presentations =D. Oh, and good luck for the assignment, hope everything is coming on fine!! =]

You just don't understand

I'll start off with this joke i got a while back via email...

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, where as women use 20,000 words per day. His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned. He said “What?”

I had another common experience of using the word "her" to describe the country. E.g. The people in Singapore appreciate her. Something like that; according to my secondary school teacher, it is used to described the motherland, therefore her instead of it should be used. But when  I studied history in NUS, my tutor found it very puzzling as to why we are using her instead of it, but realized it from the other history tutors that it was common in Singapore and apparently only we use it?~ 

Okay, enough deviation ...

soooo,

Do men and women talk differently?
Generally, I think so - like men talk soccer, sports and women talk fashion, shopping, etc, etc, etc. But I think there are changes to what people talk about. When you flip open the newspaper, you see ladies giving comments on soccer too and talking about other sports like netball and floorball is common among ladies too? There have been emphasis on grooming nowadays and I do think that more men are now more conscious about how and present themselves and seeing males talking about beauty products and facials is not such a rarity. I had a male friend in poly who will tell us he is going to facials with his mom and eating bird  nests *haha* So I guess we do not have to gasp and hyperventilate if we see more and more males talking about grooming, facial wash and the likes =P.

I think what Dr Deng mentioned about the accommodation by men when they change the words they use. I think that familiarity and politeness (negative and positive) comes into play here. When talking to us, my friend will use all the vulgarities, in a joking manner, he will tell us to"gnd (go and die)" and all the likes or he will tell us our bag is nice (positive politeness). But for girls that he is not so close with, he will exhibit negative politeness and then will change the way he talks - more gentle.

But no matter what or who talk more in public or private space, I do think we complement each other. Like women are good listeners, they elicit listener responses and they are able to listen and provide rapport. They are able to provide back channel support to the men, listening to their grouches about their bosses or work problems after a hard day at work. They provide listener responses to show that they are listening attentively to what the men says and I think many do appreciate having a spouse to go home and talk to and the spouse can provide support in times like this. Imagine going back to a house where your spouse and you are both fighting to speak and nobody is listening, that will be madness wouldn't it? =) And I do appreciate having a response from the listener, else I would be thinking that the other party is not paying attention to what I am saying at all!

But I think it would be a good topic to study the conversations of the very patriarchy countries such as ;do the wives only listen to their husband's grouches? Or do the husbands actually ask the wives "How was your day?" like a wife ask them?


In terms of using the derogatory words, I think that using words such as manpower, chamber maid, mankind is not derogatory but sometimes baseless claims and accusations can really be insulting. For example, the claims that women are bad drivers (does men have a problem with us? - loved what anna said in class that day) and scolding each other "prostitutes" is really something I cannot stand. To use the word prostitute is really damaging, I had heard fights accounts where the ladies are at each other throats, screaming such insulting words at each other which I think is really degrading.

But sometimes lets sayyy... for chambermaids, I think it relates more to women because they are more suitable for the job and historically, only women can do such jobs because of several reasons; I like to propose some new reasons, the reasons that some jobs are suitable for women because they are more attentive to details, such as being a chamber maid, they can spot minute amount of dust and dirt and serve the people staying in the hotels better, something most men cannot do. Maybe this is changing, but I do not know. Some of my speculations.

On a positive note, one funny little issue I had a problem with - I had worked at the hospital as a Patient Service Associate and asked a colleague whether there were any sisters who were males. She said yes and I asked her "what do you call them then? Brother?" She burst out laughing when I asked her that; she told me "we just call them by their names"  But then again, does it matter if we call them sister/brother, Missy (some elderly seniors call nurse missy) or Mr Nurse? Does it matter if we call them dinner lady or "dinner gentlemen" or housewife or househusband? As long as they can cook well, take care of the house well and perform their jobs as nurses well, I would not mind having a male nurse/dinner gentlemen/househusband.


Someone in my life course and ageing tutorial asked, why is in all the sociology modules we talk about gender, males and females? Because there is males and females in the society. Haha, not sure how it relates to this week's lecture but just thought i bring it up anyway since we are talking about gender. A question to ponder, will gender equality ever be achieved? Can anything actually help to bridge the inequality? education or other institutions? But on the other hand, do you want gender equality?

Alright, till next wednesday, have a great weekend ahead!! =D

(",)

CMC is not communication via computers anymore, its communication via electronic tools. The definition changes with time/development/society. Wonder in 2040, what will CMC means then?


I think one of the advantages of CMC is to be able to communicate with each other anytime through communication channel such as facebook, msn in the era where we are all too busy with many things, so its something for us to connect with our friends. This is even more important for people who are working / studying away from home, like our Swedish classmate Anna.

But recently I read an article about Blackberry and suicide with a causal relationship - with France Telecom (of which 22 employees committed suicide) as an example. Employees are under the stress of checking their emails 24/7 - who says about relaxation after working hours? not for France Telecom employees who are all given blackberrys. And the spat of cyber-bullying which is facilitated by such communication networks via blogs/social networking websites.

Hmm … I think it was interesting to know that the acceptance/rejection/denigration of compliments is extended to the online sphere and virtual world

Some examples I have encountered:

Facebook (complimenting about ability)

R1: btw, i luv e box card.. u r really gd with crafts.. go consider opening a craft class

R2: hahah, ah no la, xian chou le (making a fool) hehe, but glad u liked it =) =) =)

R1: chou (ugly)? plz la... it is nice lor... i shld really take a pic n post it in facebook...

I think that there is one additional step that R1 takes – refuting the self-denigration of the receiver (R2) and sort of making the receiver accept the compliments – cos he/she deserves. That’s just what I think =P

SMS

J1: Omg Omg Omg. Totally love love the presents. The belt is wonderful, fits perfectly, And loved the card more .. Nicely pinned on my notice board.. Haha …

J2: Haha, np, I almost din buy the belt buckle lol … give you the belt thingy only wahaha

J1: Haha.. Your card still bestest.. Oh I thought the belt comes together one set.. Haha but still very nice
I do not really know what to make of this conversation above, because J2 accepted, but did not denigrate but shifts the attention away from the compliments (about the presents) and talks about other issues (belt and buckle).

Although the compliments are rejected or the receiver denigrates, I do feel that, on a side note, the compliments are often appreciated, just that we are being socialized into not accepting and agreeing with compliments in earnest =].
But I also feel that conversations online allows us freedom to invent words that are really ridiculous. As the SMS conversation above, the word “bestest” is used here, but in formal language there is no such word. Some words that I have used amongst my friends are “died-ed”, “tbs” (acronym for troublesome) and “mostest” Really ridiculous in terms of formal language but a good laugh and connection among friends in the virtual world.

-----
Coming to gender identity in instant messaging, one very surprising finding was the usage of profanities is more prominent in FF conversations; although the results might not be generalizable, I think that most females are supposed to maintain an image of not swearing and screaming vulgarities in public and thus, we use profanities online instead? I guess the above explanation can be applicable to me somehow as use a lot of “damns” and “bloody hell” in online conversations but not as much as in public haha…

Also, I notice female friends give more encouragement and are more expressive with their encouragements. For example, in the same situation of encouraging/consoling:

females will say things like, jiayou (keep it up) \ ^_^ /, I got belief in you and stuff like that,

but on the other hand…

males on the other hand tend to say things like, tahan tahan, very fast then over already, chop chop

Males are usually more reserved than females in expressing such things like encouragements, praises, etc – is it an image they have to keep or uphold? That they should not be whiny and emotional like females (according to my brother)? Or does the situation change according to who the other party is, like males tend to be showing more affection and saying encouragment to your girlfriends?


sigh*, like most females, i tend to draggggg and nagggg in CMC communications, sorry if the relfections are too long but I can't help it =(.

See you all next week, all the best for all assignments!! =)

i hate e-learning [& not showing politeness for e-learning]

call me conventional/obiang/stupid-cannot-adapt but e-learning is a bit of hellish for me... hahaha .... i had always wished to experience e-learning since poly but i think once for me is enough ...

Who had know that politeness can be grouped into so many groups? Particularly the six maxims by Leech and the negative or positive politeness. To think that I had always thought you can be either polite or sarcastic / plain impolite - how ignorant of me~

Tact and Generosity Maxim

I think this can be seen most prominent during new year visits or open house for malay friends and indian friends who invited us to deepavali visits. They don't say peel these fruits or pick up the rubbish you left behind but they say help yourselves, eat more and do not feel shy even when we might be really full or something haha. Went for a session at AS7 yesterday and the lady Mrs Katherine Ho was real nice, kept asking me to eat and saying its REALLLLLL nice (might be exaggerating here, but haha). My aunt is another case, when we go back to visit or during chinese new year, she will keep piling food and we will be "OKOKOK" haha...

Also, we see many cases of Tact Maxim when we chat we friends such as "give me a second" or I will be reaching in a minute but in actual fact we need like 5 or 10 minutes haha... but to maximize benefit to the hearer or receiver we have to say that. Imagine someone tell you "I will be there in an hour" when you are at the meeting place, I will go nuts most probably.

Approbation Maxim 

I think the case of the quiz question occurs more often now but in the past (at least in my school),  some of my teachers will really tear us up for failing the papers. But this occurs more frequently between friends I guess, for example that this friend is wearing something that you might not like and she goes "Is my dress nice?", out of politeness I might reply "its quite nice" but if it is a best friend I might just go "not really, I think the other dress suit you better =P"

I think it shows that different groups of people elicit different response.

Modesty Maxim

Oh, something my coordinator friend and I always practise. Once she reminded me that someone I had left out and I went, "omg, how careless of me" and she will often say she got something silly to ask. haha.. a bit of too much modesty maxim haha.

Agreement Maxim

ok, very common between a boss and his/her employee. Like we will agree with what our boss have said most of the time but deep down we might be grumbling. Or project mates, to agree and not creating conflicts which will make things harder and slows down the progress.

Sympathy Maxim

A case of "i'm sorry about your pet or relative who passed away". I have to admit I am not a very good practicer of sympathy maxim because I am afraid that whatever condolences I say might cause more grief. AI remembered my really good friend's grandmother passed away and all i could mustered was "Are you okay" after a few minutes of silence. [i might be seen as cold person here ='(]

Off the record

HAHAHA!! I do that a lot, but mainly is grumbling to myself and if the hearer wants to help it will be good, if not I will find my own solution. But most often if the hearer help, it would be friends. But sometimes a simple sigh will make a a friend beside you ask "what happen" or "why sigh?" and then we can proceed to tell our problem to the other party *laughs*

Negative and positive politeness

a case of distance, formal language (negative) against informal language, talking on common ground. Sometimes you might just be polite and ask "negatively" that if the other party if he/she fancy lunching together. But even if for someone you do not like for example in the office, you still have to ask if he/she fancying joining the group expecting him/her to reject the invitation (being a little evil here)

But if one is new to the company, if the fellow colleagues ask if you wanna join them for lunch "positively" would you decline? For me, I can say I will because I feel uncomfortable being with new people as I am afraid of the stagnant mood amongst people who just meet and to avoid that, I had better not join them for lunch. I'm so dead here, not very sociable.

But then again, like cultures, showing of positiveness cannot be generalized because of the different context and situation (such as imposition, formality, familiarity and social distance, power and lastly culture). Like in the case of a friend and a best friend, you speak and reply to them different, we might be polite and showing generosity maxim to a friend and being blunt and straight to a best friend for you know that the best friend would understand.

Lastly, to end, how different response is elicit in terms of formality and social distance: -

A friend says: "You're so smart~!"

Reply 1 (to a casual friend): "No lah, I got lucky, hantam only. I'm actually very stupid"

Reply 2 (to a best friend): "Of course!" [but the friend will know that you are joking]

m & m's melt in your mouth, not in your hand

the video we watched before Dr Deng started class was really interesting - "A World of Differences" and how apt the title was. It was interesting to also see sign language in the video, they are often neglected when we talk about culture and language. Call me ignorant, but I always thought that sign language was universal and it was definitely interesting to know that sign languages between different groups of people will differ. A huge contrast between the sign of showing the middle finger. Definitely something new I learnt from that video.

Different countries also have the different kinds of culture and I think Singapore culture has got the unique lingo of lahs, lors, lehs - Singlish! haha, I think food is also another one identifiable with Singapore because one of my sociology lecturer from Australia says that Singapore is the only place he seen that food is so readily available, like every few steps you see a place selling food? and shopping? haha, i know that Australia shops close super early and German shopping centres are closed for the weekends because they want the people to be spending time with their family and not doing shopping during the weekends - shopping in Germany is reserved for the weekdays only.

I think Singapore dimensions of cultural variability is very much reflected in the institutions itself. Singapore and I think some other countries have a mixture in terms of the cultural variability and not a single fixed one being attributed to them.

Like for example, in schools (especially primary and secondary school), there is high power distance, where students have to greet the teachers and talk to them politely. But as I entered poly, my facilitators all told us to call them by name, like Esther instead of calling her Ms Ong or Ms Esther Ong which I found it quite difficult to adjust until a while.[mixture of high and low power distance here]

Collectivist culture is very much encouraged. I am not very sure about other polys but for mine, we have to do a presentation in groups everyday, no one is allowed to stand out ad everyone is expected to contribute their part for the final presentation. But individualism is also encouraged, we were told to ask questions during the third meeting and do a peer and self evaluation for both the team mates in our groups and ourselves. The 5 of us in the group will not share the same grade but grade is dependent on (1) individual's participation in class, peer evaluation and the reflection journal we do (individualist) and also (2) how well we worked in a group and the quality of the team's final presentation  (collective).

Masculinity traits is very prominent in Singapore too, with achievements, success, wealth and material possessions being prized and emphasized. And men are supposed to protect females from insult. But I find something quite contradicting here, as the lecture notes says that masculine culture tend towards aggressive communication style, which emphasizes competition and impulsive rather than being cooperative and reflective. But we have a bit of both, cooperation but yet still creating competition, for improvement? for success? or because we sometimes need to work together to make miracles or produce good results?

Dr Deng mentioned that Singapore is a low uncertainty avoidance culture but aren't we supposed to be less stressful, less tense and more relaxed? but we exhibit the symptoms of those in the high uncertainty avoidance culture. Haha, this shows that it is very hard to define what a certain culture is because the different dimensions of one culture can be intertwined together. There are many faces in a culture, the culture can be multi-dimensional and when we look a different cultures, it is important to remember to see them as dynamic and we cannot overgeneralize them. Lastly, we can be affected and shaped by many culture,s like me! for example, I have the Singaporean culture, the Malaysian culture, the Taosim culture, Poly culture, Chinese culture and the list goes on~ a case of multiculturalism?

Cheers to cultures for they make us unique!!!