Neighbour: Thanks for the vegetables!
Grandmother: No problem
N: How much are the vegetables? (takes out some cash)
G: No no, no need to pay (me)
*pushes cash around, scuffle breaks out* (dramatizing here)
While during class when Dr Deng was going through the speech event notes, I was reminded of this incident when I was little. Grandmother (who grows her own vegetables) some times gives our neighbour or her closer friend some veg. When the “fight” broke out outside between the two grannies, the young me (locked inside the house) cried like nutter because I thought they were fighting for real. My crying broke up their scuffle and they came over to consoled me (haha); my grandma accepted the money in the end and the neighbour went home after laughing at me =S and chit-chatted a bit with my grandma.
Is this considered a speech event? I do think so, its something like a business event/transaction where my grandma sort of turned into the vendor and the neighbour, the customer. Although there was no intention of business when my grandma gives her the veg, but it sort of ended up like a business transaction.
This speech event has six phases (according to Robert Shuy); there were: -
1. Introduction: Greetings and small talk – neighbour comes over, starts the conversation thanking grandma for the veg
2. Present the problem: the veg were free! This is definitely not allowed in our culture – if we accept free things, feels like greediness (at least that’s what taught to me)
3. Presenting proposal to solve problem: neighbour wanting to pay for the veg
4. completion: grandma accepted the money (quite unreluctantly)
5. extension: no future deals agreed, but the norm that she will come back and buy the veg if grandma is selling and grandma will give her the veg if she has
6. closing: laughs at silly antics, says goodbye and goes home
Norms of interpretation:
1. giving food items (e.g. home grown veg, home made cookies and cakes) is the norm in the area I grew up 2. When giving gifts (in this case, the veggies), there is no intention of letting the receiver pay
3. offering money for the veg is the polite thing to do
4. only after a few rounds of bargaining only can grandma then accept the cash and after accepting, thanked the other party profusely. This is politeness =).
realize i'm always very naggy when it comes to reflection, must be the effect of 3yrs continuous writing of reflection journals in RP. =)
ya, same thing sometimes happens to me and my frens like when some of us buy the rest to buy drinks.. we want to pay, but those who buy refuse the money, saying it's nothing. then the money gets pushed around. hahaa.. sometimes i find it amusing.
ReplyDeleteis ,in our speech event, the meaning of "helping to buy drinks" changing from jus helping to giving treat?
It is a speech event, which used to occur in close-knit community and doesn't seem to occur often now, if I'm correct. Andy is right that the vegetable event may have the contemporary parallel to taking turns to give treat between friends.
ReplyDeletehi andy and dr deng,
ReplyDeleteoh yes i agree with what both of you have said; but treats occurs only among close friends (for my case) sometimes, we also refuse to let our friends pay us, and i will tell them they can treat me the next time round.
I think close friends can also be considered a "close-knit group"? maybe not a community, but a group? For the place now, since most of the elderly passed away, I hardly see the neighbours giving veg or food to each other, so i guess dr deng is right, the community is not as close knit now and thus, the practice of giving things to one another hardly occurs now, people keep to themselves more now.
I have ever encountered a little twist to your speech event!! When I was little, my mom and my aunt was also pushing a small amount of money to each other. Probably for something trivial such as vegetables too! Then my cousin (aunt's daughter) suddenly interjected, "Ni men bu yao wo na!" (If you guys don't want it then I'll take it) and she did take the money! Both my mom and aunt were amused for a moment but laughed and let her have it!!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was pretty brilliant and wonders how accurate would a speech event study be if its based on my cousin!! Haha!
Hi Huey Li,
ReplyDeleteI had the exact same thoughts during lecture too! This whole money pushing thing. I think it is a old generation or chinese thing. I mean, if the money rightfully belongs to you, why won't you take it? It's so funny.
Between my friends and I, we gladly accept the money when it is given to us. However, sometimes I see my guy friends pushing money around after a meal. Like, "It is yours, take it.", "No, don't worry about it." After a series of these exchanges, somehow the money just disappears from the table. Either it is finally quitely accepted, or quietly kept back.
It is strange that we have such a practice. I wonder if it is the same in other culture.
hi yi ling and eileen,
ReplyDeletei guessed everyone have encountered such an incident someway or another, be it among friends,neighbours or family members. But one thing for sure, i think when we accept the money or we take the money back (cos rejected), it will be done quietly, maybe its our culture? Have to ask my friend what their reaction in aussie will be in such cases when she comes back.
But Yi Ling's cousin reaction is sooo cute! I think I'm the coward one, bursting into tears hahaha, either that or they were pushing the cash around too forcefully. =]
Since the vegetable are home-grown i think the neighbour should have just accepted them with appreciation. Giving money for something people gave as a gift for you is different from the situation where people helped you pay in advance. Recently, i have this friend who told me she is going to hold a party for her 21st birthday because she wants to receive presents and she is going to assign each group of friends different things to buy for her. I said ok, but then when i asked her what would she like as a present, she said, "No need to give lah, just come and enjoy yourself." It is like such a (-.-||) situation!
ReplyDelete